Monday, January 19, 2015

A sensuous child; The List

It has been a while since I added to "The List" and I still have a few more important topics to write for it. This subject once again comes to us courtesy of a well meaning individual I know, and Lena Dunham. Disturbed by the title? Me too!

     This subject is really an extension of the whole discussion around normative sexual behavior in children as they grow up. I've already written about what normal sexual development in kids looks like and when there should be concern (abnormal behaviors). I have also written a lengthy post about sexual play or acting out focusing on the Lena Dunham controversy.  
So a well meaning individual I know told me that they didn't want me to feel bad about my sexual development or being a sexual person because of my quote "having always been a sensuous child". Also they didn't want me to mix up my being a sensuous child with blaming a parent for it. For anyone raised with healthy body boundaries and who was allowed to develop their sexuality normally you reaction should be "EWW, OH MY GOD!" and "WHY WOULD YOU EVER PUT SENSUOUS AND CHILD IN THE SAME SENTENCE?!"

     But for sexual abuse victims, or anyone raised with inappropriate boundaries and body violations you might actually have thought this is something plausible and that it was your fault or the way you were born. This is why I brought up Lena Dunham; she is someone who was exposed to an over sexual environment and somehow  believes she is a sexual revolutionary now and as a child (sensuous child). The only other crowd that gives this idea any thought is the crowd that supports the abusers or is somehow part of that dysfunctional system. They are trying to find ways to explain away the abuse and the child's behavior so they blame it on the child or try to make arguments such as the kid having always been sensuous.

     Let's put this idea to rest. There is no such thing as a sensuous child. There is no stage of sexual development during childhood in which that would ever occur (unless sexual abuse was present). This type of behavior and development would not even begin to occur until adolescence, and even then a very sexual teen who is acting out would still be a concern for whether or not they had been abused. Please see previous list posts about normal sexual development for reference. Kids are not sensuous! That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard about child development, and this is after having taken  developmental psychology during college- not a mention- ever- because it is not true!.

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